so you think this is all planned?
do you think i want to plan all this shit just to hurt myself?
huh?
think...
why would i go through all this trouble just to end up in square one?
go make friends with him
be a very close friend
have a big fight with him
have a bigger fight with you guys over him
think man
if i have planned this
couldn't i do a better job
if i really want to destroy him
why was my friendship with you guys jeopadised?
think think think man!
you thought it was all planned
but look
who do i really confide to when i have all my problems
you even told me that your bestfriend told you that you know alot more things than her about me when she is suppose to( at that point of time)
because you are the only person i trusted and felt comfortable to talk to
you think my family would have been a suitable choice?
my foot
all the this i've told you about him is i really want to talk to you
wei kiat is a different case
yes its true that i told ganesh both of them are my lab rats
but i didn't do it on purpose for him
wei kiat yes
i admit us on purpose
the reason is to teach him a lesson
but for him wasn't
i told you the things
you told qiuyi and we all 3 kind of dislike him
but the way i see it is that it's somehow similar
you can ask ganesh
i told her for his case i did specifically said it was to his close ones
which was the 3 of us
you don't like it huh?
when does life gives you whatever you want?
and what makes you think i'm enjoying every bit of this?
it hurts you know
you were disappointed with me?
i'm more disappointed with you man!
you are siding the weak and not justice!
i thought if i had talked to you so much about him
at least you don't side me,
you would stay neutral
but now?
you 2 are like him to me now!
i don't get you people man
you are the ones who told me he was wrong in the first place
he shouted at me
you guys said it was wrong
but do you guys have any idea we weren't at good terms before the job?
i tried you talk to him
i'm sure you witnessed it yourself kah hui
you asked me why suddenly so close to him
isn't it obvious?
haven't you seen that time to time
from sec 1 to now
when we really got and still in a huge fight
i'm always to one who starts to apologise
but i'm sick of it
look at it closely
the only person he will apologise in this world is meisiu
that's it
no more
you guys read the blog
you guys talked to me
you guys only sensed the anger
the words that are as sharp as knives
but do you see the wound and damages that he have inflicted on me?
i hide them all you know
do you know how much of effort do i have to use just to put up a strong front?
huh?
you know because of this i lost taste in all of my activities now?
i planned a juicy and fruitful holiday
now its just tasteless and black and white?
i sensed that something was wrong before i left for OBS
i ask you
you said the posts wasn't that harsh
you siad i was just trying to make it clear to him
but then?
now what are you guys trying to do?
because of this i went to OBS with a very heavy heart
and once again i have great reponsibilities on my shoulders
and that irritates me more
with an irritate mood
i came back
a screwed up meeting just pisses me off
everything just sucks
everything i do just turns out wrong
i go for kayaking
got fucking irritated
and now i hate it
you know how much i love that sport in the past?
and now i seriously hate it
i just want to get over it on friday abd that's the end
and all thanks to who?
fine i don't mind because this are some of my doings
but you 2 had just to rub the salt in
if you are so hurt then why are you making the situation worse?
if you are coming to scold me on MSN or blog it on your blog
it just tells me that you are siding him
and if i'm not wrong
you guys ARE trying to do so
and ganesh
don't try to come act act want to help and in the end write all those stupid this on MSN
look at yourself
how screwed up your life is?
what makes you think your relationship with your mom now is better than my replationship with him?
if you 2 are so tired and wish not to care about this then DON'T!
BECAUSE THIS IS A MATTER BETWEEN ME AND HIM
to tell you
i don't have much anger left towards him
after OBS
i just don't know how to face him
or should i say that since i ended it
i just don't want to see him!
but you 2 JUST HAVE TO FUCKING RUB IT IN?
WHY? WHY? WHY?
if were to be still angry
why would i want to inform him about the china trip's detail?
i could have made is the most unpleasant trip for him
it would be better if he died there if i were to hate him
and become the more unpleasant stay since his corpse will stay there!
if you are afraid that i've change to someone you don't know
i'm sorry to burst your bubble that i've from the day you guys stray away from me and start siding him
let me give you a brief preview of who i am right now
so that you don't get a shock of a lifetime next year
nomore mr.nice guy
nomore happy hyper oj
nomore mr.responsible
nomore mr.friendly
nomore happy hours
no nothing
'i miss the old happy oj'?
BANG
gone
long gone
he's dead now
deal with it
now the new guys coming so ENJOY...
and if you want to side him more after reading this posts,
BE MY GUEST
BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MATTER TO ME ANYMORE
SERIOUSLY!
IT DOESN
BECAUSE I STAND ALONE NOW!
and its because you are a much bigger disappointment than me
that i've become such a letdown to you guys because you have let me down!
long ago
way long ago
because you just blindly side whoever spends more time with you
whoever seemed weak
or the one who is standing up for his right and putting a strong front is the evil guy!
great disappointment!
oh..
and sorry for whining about my life again
but in case you haven't noticed
that is the fucking point of having this blog
SINCE I'VE LOST MY DISAPPOINTING FRIENDS
SO ALL I HAVE IS THIS
so these are the posts that i will be posting
and there is a whole lot more from where it came from
SO DEAL WITH IT OR LEAVE IT!
AND ITS SO OVER!!!
IT'S THE END!!!
JUST THE WAY YOU WANTED... AN END!!!
I'M GOING SOLO!!!
(and frankly speaking this isn't planned! it's decided on the spot! right here right now! this fucking moment!)
and in case you don't know what's over
its the fucking 3 YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP!!!
not just to you but to all who thinks i'm in the wrong!
Still finding.
8:41 AM