i don't know why is everybody living like nothing has happened before
that is impossible for me
after what happened
i couldn't forgive them for what they did to me
nor i could forgive myself for what i've done
i tried to
no... i forced myself to
but still i couldn't do it
time may heal all wounds
but a wound is still a wound
they always leave their friends behind
known as the scars
what's more when wounds never heal
and you try to force the cuts to close,
punching in staplets just to keep the cut close
but every staplet you punch in,
the more pain there will be
so what's the point
it hurts more to save then leave it
and i can never bring myself to be like the 14 days in china
NEVER...
nobody saw what i went through to do
the smiles
the conversations
those actions
nobody knew
but i've realise
its never going to be the same again
NEVER...
at least i found some sanity in me to at least try
but now i know
we're all different now
he's different
i'm different
everybody around us is different
she tried to make like nothing happened
before i left
talking on the phone
trying to help in our club tee
but guess her courtersy-ness betrayed her
when i'm back
sms-ed like normal
but i know
deep down in all our hearts
it will never ever going to be the same as before
NEVER...
just the way i foresaw
don't know why was i so eager to get out of the hospital in china?
and come back to all this shit?
why can't i just die there
guess i had a more meaningful life there in china
where i have a drive
and a direction
but back here
everything just pounds on me
blocking the light!
why couldn't i just stay there and not come back?
i really don't want to come back
i don't miss anything from here!
i don't why this time not even my family
the only thing i missed is dickson and john when left after dropping me off at the hospital
and by the way thanks alot bro
thats all
i don't miss my mom, my dad, my siblings, my bed, nothing!!!
nothing else for me to miss
so why did i come back?
why why why?
i hate this place
all the bad memories
that drives me nut
those never returning good memories
that just cuts the wounds deeper!
i hate all this
guess an end is afterall an end
*and to all those FUCKERS out there who don't like my blog, you can always leave it alone... of course you can tag but if you've got the balls to tag all your disatisfactory on my tagboard why don't you people have the balls to write who you are? don't worry, i wouldn't do anything much but i just don't want to live my life among hypocrites and most importantly i just want to HUNT YOU DOWN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER PERSONALLY! so have a nice day tagging... pals*
Still finding.
10:51 PM